So tired

I'm so worn out. So tired of fighting. I was strong enough that I probably could have overdosed last Thursday. I chose not to, but now wonder if maybe I should have. Right now I don't have the strength or enough of a desire to do so. I want the pain to stop though. I'm just so tired of nothing ever working, of not having access to what could help me get better to defeat this. I am so tired of living a life sentence to pay for someone else's crimes against me when he will never be punished. I keep telling my treatment team that I can't do this anymore and they just aren't listening. I don't know what else to do. Why won't they believe me when I tell them I am too tired to keep going on like this and either need to quit for good or for something to change now?