Memories

There is a lot going on in the PTSD department. Things are starting to come to a head again. I'm currently really scared, sad, and triggered. My head is spinning. I'm making new connections and realizations about my childhood and my stomach is turning. I emailed my therapist earlier today about the impending loss of my psychiatrist and I really wish I hadn't. I want to email her now but don't want to be overly needy or abuse this email thing. My psychiatrist did increase my prazosin today and so maybe that will help. Maybe I should take it now and try and stop my mind from thinking. I'm not suicidal but right now I'd like to down a bottle of pills to escape my mind. People have been reaching out to me and that in itself is amazing and awesome. I'm going to save that for tomorrow so I can write about something good and not this negative stuff. Please, if anyone reads this, please send healing energy my way tonight.